Let’s Stop This (Pointless) Chase
OK, tell me if you've ever had a moment like this:
I was standing in a section of high-end skin care products in Ulta, holding a $247 facial serum that was supposed to "reverse the signs of aging" and "turn back the clock" on my skin. The sales associate was giving me her pitch about how this stuff would "penetrate deep into the skin" (hint: this is not true) for "a smoother, more youthful look" (um…okaaay)
And suddenly, I had this thought:
"I don't actually care that much about looking younger? I just want to look better?"
For years, I had been defining beauty success as "looking younger" – but why? Why was I measuring my worth against my 30-year-old self? (Or the 20-something people all around me in Ulta) Why was I pouring energy and money into "reversing" the natural flow of time?
🍃 It was experiences like that one that eventually transformed my relationship with beauty: I stopped chasing youth and started embracing vitality instead.
What's the difference? Everything.
Chasing youth is:
Always looking backward
Fighting against nature
Based in fear and resistance
An impossible goal (let's be honest)
Exhausting and expensive
Embracing vitality is:
Living fully in the present
Working with your body, not against it
Based in acceptance and enhancement
An achievable daily practice
Energizing and empowering
My raw face at 58…I’m OK with it.
When I shifted my goal from "looking younger" to "enhancing my natural vitality," my whole approach to beauty changed. I became less interested in products that promised to "fix" me and more drawn to practices that made me feel alive, energized, and connected to my amazing face and body.
That's what initially drew me to face yoga and eventually led me to create Amazing Face Yoga.
Face yoga isn't about trying to look like you did 20 years ago – it's about bringing out the natural radiance and expressiveness of the face you have right now. It's about improving circulation, relieving tension, boosting collagen and elastin production, and strengthening the foundation that supports your skin.
The results aren't about looking "younger" – they're about looking more vibrant, more relaxed, and more like your best self.
I love how one of my students put it: "Since starting face yoga, people don't say I look younger – they say I look well-rested, happy, or just 'good'. Sometimes, they ask me if I changed my hair! (I haven't) But honestly, that feels so much better."
Think about the most beautiful midlife and older women you know.
Is their beauty really about looking young? Or is it about their energy, their expressiveness, their presence?
When I think of women like Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, or Jane Fonda (all face yoga enthusiasts, by the way!), I don't admire them because they look young. I admire them because they radiate vitality, confidence, and authenticity.
That's the kind of beauty that gets better with age, not worse.
OK, your turn – has your definition of beauty evolved as you've gotten older? Have you ever had a moment when you questioned the "looking younger" goal our culture pushes on us?